First I want to thank anyone who still follows this blog, even though I haven’t posted in a long time. I’m sorry about that. Been crazy with work and then didn’t have time after work. But lately, I’ve had more time and have been thinking about this blog again. I actually have a couple things to touch on. One is bag leaks and the other is illness (a cold).
So, recently I’ve been enjoying the fact that I have those amazing belly wraps that hold my ileostomy bag against my body and help prolong how long I can wear a standard bag before I need to change it. Unfortunately, sometimes I wear it too long and the seal breaks down. I know there are bags out there that allow you to wear them longer without them breaking down, but I can’t find them and I have so many of these standard bags. I just need to remember to change them more frequently. Mostly because I really hate the after effects of me letting it go. It’s not just the sudden need to run to the bathroom and take a shower, because your belly is covered in poo juice (though that is bad, believe me). It’s the depression that hits me afterwards.
I can’t help but feel dirty and disgusting afterwards. Like even after showering, getting new clothes and a new wrap, I still feel dirty. This depression has gotten worse lately, with the last couple of leaks because I’m actively trying to find a permanent partner. I just keep getting reminded that one of three things usually chases a guy off: I’m fat (no sugar coating it, it’s just a fact), I’m a mother, or my ileostomy. And I know, “If a guy really likes you, then those things won’t matter and it means you’ll find someone more real who likes you for you.” But all the sudden, “Yeah I’m not really looking for a relationship right now, but if you want to have sex we can still get together,” as soon as they find out about one of those things, starts to get a girl down, after a while 😦
But, if you know me, you know I’m optimistic and will keep my head up…you know, once I pull myself out of that depression of, “No one will ever want me!!” But of course, part of this could be avoided by just changing my bag more often than once a week. LOL So, mostly this is a PSA, change your bag more often if you don’t want leaks.
Illness (a simple cold):
So, recently I got sick. Just a cold, nothing big….for everyone else in my house. My 7 year old son was only sick for one day, where I kept him home from a birthday party. My mother only stayed home a couple days and was only really down for a couple days. Me? Oh yeah, I couldn’t talk for almost a week and I felt my energy super drained for almost a week and a half. I’m not really looking forward to my next pay check.
Now, you may be asking “why?” That’s fair enough, it’s been a while since I posted, so you may have forgotten I was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis. Which is an autoimmune disease. I have a compromised immune system. Things that most people fight off easily knock me down for a long time. I still have a persistent cough, bleh. But it’s getting better. I think the worse part was each time I thought I was doing better, the next day could barely get out of bed.
And lets not forget how frustrating it is when people forget I have a problem with my immune system, so they can’t understand why I’m knocked down so hard by a simple cold. Thank goodness for NyQuil and Musinex LOL
Anyway, I think I’m done complaining for now. My next post will be sooner and will be a more positive one about my weight loss adventure. It’s been a fun adventure, so far.